The Babysitters Club
by mayonakanotaiyou
Summary: Sometimes Nanao wonders why she even bothers..esecially since she works under the biggest baby in Soul Society. The epilogue to the craziness has been uploaded!
1. Ch 1: Rise & Shine, Nanao chan

Disclaimer: Bleach is the creative property of Kubo Taito. I do not own any characters affliated with the series, but I still have a great time messing with them.

**The Babysitters Club**

"Kyouraku-taichou…" Ise Nanao groaned as she tossed and turned on the tatami floor of her personal quarters. She had rolled off the futon that served as a so-called mattress and was currently lying on the tatami fibers with her pillow thrown to the side. "Taichou… tai… chou…." Her brow was furrowed and her eyes were squeezed shut in a contorted sort of expression. A bead of sweat rolled down her pale forehead. "Tai…chou….faster…" she gasped. "TAICHOU! Can't you move any faster!" she screamed. "These reports need to be signed by 5:00 and it's already 4:55—OUCH!" Nanao awoke abruptly having slammed her arm into her low lacquered worktable that was pushed against the wall. "Just a dream… What time is it anyway?" she murmured to herself as she sat up and reached for her glasses on the table. Everything came into focus and she looked at her small clock.

6:17 AM

Sighing, she picked up her futon and bedding, folding everything neatly before tucking everything into the closet. After straightening the cushions that surrounded the table, she began undoing the sash to the yukata she wore to bed and opened the door to her bathroom. She turned on the water and carefully hung her pajamas on the hanger next to the towels.

After her shower, she quickly towel dried her hair, brushed out the tangles, and twisted it up, pulling it away from her face. Left, over, down, under, right, snap. As soon as the clip was in place, she put on her glasses once again and began her ritualistic check of her shinigami outfit while she brushed her teeth.

Hair, not a single strand out of place. Nails, no dirt or foreign matter under the nails. Socks, spotless. Uniform, clean, pressed, and lint-free today. She really hated how the lint from the towels always seemed to be attracted to her clean uniforms. Finally satisfied, she put everything on and went to her worktable.

7:00 AM

"Excuse me!"

"Enter."

"Very sorry to bother you, your morning tea, Ise-fukutaichou." It was one of the new members of her squad. He was sitting in typical seiza fashion with his knees to the ground, head bowed, and knuckles flush against the wooden floor outside her room. He bowed deeply once and shuffled over to her worktable, setting the tray next to her planner. She hardly gave him a second glace as he stood up. "Very sorry to have bothered you. Excuse me." He bowed deeply once more and quietly shuffled out sliding the door closed behind him.

Nanao had her inkwell and brush ready to go as she opened her planner. "Great. First of the month. And it's Monday," she mumbled. "Which means—"

"Excuse me!"

"Enter."

"Sorry to bother you, Ise-fukutaichou! I have brought the reports for your approval and processing." It was one of the former members of her squad. He had just been "promoted" to the Information Department and was now stuck shuffling important classified papers from the main office. "_Some promotion, more like a demotion,"_ Nanao thought to herself.

"In-tray," she motioned, setting down her brush on its rest, picking up the handle-less teacup and bringing it to her lips. She stopped and frowned when she noticed what the day's activities included. "SHINIGAMI WOMEN'S ASSOCIATION MEETING, KYOURAKU-TAICHOU: PHYSICAL." The pause caused the steaming tea to fog up her glasses, so she put the teacup down in annoyance.

"Sorry for having bothered you. Excuse me," the former member bowed as he too exited the formidable fukutaichou's room.

Nanao glanced at the stack of reports that had been left on her desk. They had been bound with rope held together by a small disk that bore the official seal of the Soul Society. She closed her eyes and infused a bit of her reiatsu into the seal. The seal clicked and the rope retracted into the disk.

Putting the security disk to the side, she read the cover page aloud, "8-BANTAI MONTHLY REPORTS. ATTACHED 57 COMPLAINTS & 83 REPORTS FOR APPROVAL." Nanao sighed as she could feel a headache coming on as she sipped her tea. As usual, the complaints were filed on top of the reports and required her immediate attention.

She skimmed the summary of the complaints and realized that of those 57 complaints, 39 of them were against, "8-BANTAI TAICHOU, KYOURAKU SHUNSUI. 16 cases of alleged sexual harassment, 9 cases of disturbing the peace, 6 cases of serving alcohol to minors, 3 cases of purchasing alcohol for minors, 3 unpaid tabs, and 2 overdue fines for past misdemeanors," she read aloud to no one in particular.

Sighing, she opened a box filled with stacks of colored paper, took out one sheet of each and began clipping them to the stacks of complaints. Lavender, "8-BANTAI RELATED." Yellow, "SEXUAL HARASSMENT." Pink, "DISTURBING THE PEACE." Sky blue, "ALCOHOL RELATED." Neon green, "PAST DUE BILLS." Bright orange, "FINES." All of them were written in her distinct handwriting, perfectly balanced characters, not a stroke missing or out of place.

Nanao stacked the complaints up and turned her attention to the massive stack of reports. The reports were considerably thicker despite being relatively less pressing than the complaints. Each report was bound and had the subject clearly printed on the upper right hand corner of the report. As she read the subject of each report, she began organizing them in order of urgency. After she had sufficiently reshuffled the reports, she put them under the stack of complaints.

7:55 AM

Nanao glanced over at the clock just as she reactivated the seal on the reports. Just in time to go and fetch the taichou for his appointment. Nanao stood up, picked up the monstrous tome she always held and stepped out into the semi-lighted corridors. As she walked to the end of the hall, she noticed a certain familiar, gaudy pink haori that had been thrown to the side of the quiet corridor. Picking it up, she proceeded down the hall until she arrived at the last room. "8-BANTAI TAICHOU, KYOURAKU SHUNSUI," read the also pink piece of wood nailed to the side of the doorframe.

Normally, she would knock, but she figured that her knock would fall on deaf ears, so she just slid the shoji door open. The stench of stale alcohol filled her nostrils and her nose wrinkled in irritation. The room, as usual, was littered with shinigami corpses. Nanao used to this, simply put her book down on one of the bookshelves, and walked to the large gong her taichou used as "decoration". Personally she hated the ancient instrument because it was so gaudy with its red-turquoise-gold dragon and random lotus blossoms, but it did come in handy more than she would care to admit. Today was no exception.

Nanao picked up the large mallet sitting next to it and gave it everything she had as she swung.

GO------------------------------------------------N!

The sound echoed down the halls of the 8-bantai headquarters, shaking the walls and the corpses littering the taichou's main quarters to life. Nanao angrily dusted off her hakama as some of the dust that had settled on the gong had some how settled on her clean uniform. If it wasn't the pesky lint from the towels, it was the dust from her taichou's quarters.

"MATSUMOTO-FUKUTAICHOU, KIRA-FUKUTAICHOU, MADARAME IKKAKU-SAN, AYASEGAWA YUMICHIKA-SAN, ABARAI-FUKUTAICHOU, UKITAKE-TAICHOU, AND HINAMORI-FUKUTAICHOU, RETURN TO YOUR RESPECTIVE HEADQUARTERS AT ONCE!" she bellowed as she threw open the curtains. The corpses stirred, groaning and squinting at the sunlight pouring into the room.

"Nanao-chan, OOF!" Nanao threw the pink haori right into a barely rising Shunsui's face.

Kira was the first to actually fully rise from his interrupted slumber. A look of panic crossed his face as he noticed that he was not within the confines of 3-bantai headquarters, so he straightened his hakama, grabbed Wabisuke without so much as a word, slamming the hilt into Matsumoto's face in his haste, and jumped out the window, using his shunpo to get there in record time.

Matsumoto, being disturbed from her slumber, groaned and sat up clutching her forehead. "What's the big idea?" she moaned, opening one sleepy sky blue eye. "Oh, Ise-fukutai—what are you doing in my room at this early hour? Why is it so chilly in here?"

Nanao raised one eyebrow quizzically, but said nothing. Matsumoto stared back at Nanao for a moment, looked around and then at her state of dress.

"Whoopsie! Sorry, here I was talking to you with one of my girls popping out," said the voluptuous beauty, promptly fixing the problem by stuffing said mammary back into place.

"Ahem, Matsumoto-fukutaichou," Nanao said as she cleared her throat, "Today is Monday. You and I both know what that means."

Matsumoto paled, "PAPERWORK!"

"It's also the first of the month," Nanao said as she adjusted her glasses.

"Wait that means…" Matsumoto looked up thoughtfully, considering the comment very carefully.

"MATSUMOTO!" bellowed a certain white haired prodigy, his anger falling on deaf ears. No paperwork on his desk yet, or tea for that matter. He cursed the system that dictated that the paperwork must pass through the hands of the fukutaichou before the taichou. "_Just what the hell was the Soul Society thinking when they implemented this system!"_ he thought grumpily. _"Who was the damn idiot that put matters into the hands of people like Matsumoto!"_

"First of the month means…COMPLAINT DAY!" she gasped, her eyes widening in realization. "Taichou is gonna _kill_ me for being late again! EVERYONE! WAKE UP! TODAY'S COMPLAINT DAY!" she screamed breathlessly, stepping on Renji's chest and Ikkaku's arm, both who happened to be blocking her way to the nearest exit, a.k.a. the window, as she bounded out the window.

Renji and Ikkaku both sat up with a start, slamming into each other's forehead.

"What the fuck! Who the hell just banged into my head!" roared Renji.

"Goddamn it, Abarai! Keep your voice down and close the curtain. It's so damn early and here you shouting at the top of your lungs. Besides, YOU were the fucking hard-headed idiot that just slammed into MY head!" Ikkaku shouted back.

"AHEM!" Nanao coughed. "Could you ALL evacuate yourselves from Kyouraku-taichou's room, except Kyouraku-taichou!" she bellowed stepping on Shunsui's pink haori stopping him in his tracks as he attempted to slink towards the door.

"This is all your fault!" Ikkaku accused, yanking Renji by the collar.

"My fault! You were the one who frickin' suggested that we—"

"Now, now let's go already," interrupted Yumichika, smiling and looking amazingly shiny and pretty, despite having spent the night amongst drunks.

"Yumichika, when the hell did you—and why the hell do you look so—oh, never mind, let's go already!" shouted Ikkaku as the three of them bounded out yelling at each other.

"Hinamori-fukutaichou, this is a surprise," Nanao said looking sternly at a bewildered Hinamori.

"Where am I?" hiccupped a clearly confused Hinamori. Nanao raised one thin eyebrow.

Nanao cleared her throat, "Hinamori-fukutaichou, what you choose to do in your personal life is up to you," she said as she approached Hinamori. "However, I would appreciate it if you would take any 'personal business' to your own personal quarters instead of conducting it here—"

"Huh?" Hinamori looked puzzled for a second before looking down at her state of dress. Her eyes widened in shock as she noticed that she wasn't wearing anything but a bed sheet. "Ack!" she squeaked, turning bright red with embarrassment. "It's not what it looks like," Hinamori said pleadingly. Nanao looked unconvinced as raised one eyebrow.

"Nanao-chan," said Shunsui, turning around, knowing he was safe from being attacked, as he was already on the ground, pink cape harassed by his beloved Nanao-chan's sandal. "Hinamori didn't do anything. She just lost all her clothes to Matsumoto in strip poker—"

"Strip poker? _Again_?" Nanao sighed. "I guess this would explain why your haori was outside. Maybe I should have given it to the newly entered shinigami as the rag to clean the dusty halls." Shunsui paled as Ukitate decided to remind the two "lovebirds" as he called them behind their backs of his existence with a raspy cough.

"Ma-Matsumoto was having a lucky night and she somehow won all of Hinamori's clothes," Ukitate managed to choke out.

"Matsumoto thought it would make things interesting if she 'took care' of Hinamori's clothes for her," Shunsui continued.

"All right, in ANY case," interrupted Nanao. "Ukitake-taichou, would you mind taking Hinamori-fukutaichou back to her quarters? I think it's best that you both go now when there are not so many—NOT YOU," she said stamping her sandal even harder into her taichou's pink coat.

"But, Nanao-chan," groaned Shunsui, reaching for her leg.

"Taichou," she said calmly while stamping on his hand. "You have an appointment today at—"

"Go on, pretty boy," Shunsui said to Ukitake, slowly slithering out from under his haori. "Hurry up and take Hinamori. We'll clean up the mess," he said, ignoring Nanao as she read of his schedule for the day.

"Excuse us, then," Ukitake said as he led Hinamori out.

"And finally, we have to take care of all those complaints that were filed against you. Are you listening, Taichou?" Nanao asked in irritation to a Shunsui that was creeping towards the door.

"Nanao-chan," Shunsui said turning around to face his serious fukutaichou. "Did I ever tell you how cute you look when you're angry?" he said, immediately regretting those words as it landed an empty sake bottle smack in the middle of his forehead.

"Taichou, you need a bath before your appointment." Nanao shoved her protesting taichou into the open bathroom and slammed the door in his face.

"Nanao-chan," Shunsui said pleadingly, poking his head out from behind the door. Nanao stopped in her tracks. "I have a problem. Will you hear me out? You see, I have no fresh towels in the bathroom and I—OOF!" Shunsui was momentarily deprived of oxygen as he was chucked a white towel from the closet. "And I don't have any—OUCH! Thanks," he groaned as he picked up the cake of soap that had also been chucked at his forehead, hitting the spot where the sake bottle had moments earlier had connected with his face. "Damn, she has good aim," he muttered touching the tender spot and wincing in pain as he slowly retreated into the safety of the bathroom.

8:47 AM

As soon as she heard the sound of running water, Nanao sighed and began cleaning up the remnants of the previous night's activities. There was a large cardboard box in the corner with some crumpled up bags in them. Figuring they were for rubbish, she opened one to line the box and began picking up the empty bottles and rubbish.

"This must be what meant when she said she'd 'take care of' Hinamori-fukutaichou's clothes," she murmured, picking up what clearly looked to be the work of Haineko. She sighed once again as she tossed the shreds into the garbage box. Nanao, getting into the swing of cleaning, bustled around, moving what she could of the furniture back, collecting the remaining trash, and piling all the bedding together so that it could be washed. No sooner had she pooled together all the sheets, she felt the hairs on the nape of her neck stand up and reacted accordingly with her fan.

9:39 AM

"OUCH! Nanao-chan, why did you go and have to smash your fan into my nose?" cried Shunsui covering the protruding body part, praying that it would not start bleeding now.

"You were breathing on my neck and you were getting ready to do something," she said seriously, pulling a stray thread that had somehow migrated from the sheets to her obi. "Keep your appendages to yourself unless you plan to donate them," she said flicking her wrist to open her fan, preventing his lips from sucking her check as she walked to retrieve her precious tome.

"Why are you so cold to me, Nanao-chan?" Shunsui whined, pulling his damp waves into his trademark loose ponytail.

"TAICHOU! You have an appointment at 10:00."

"Do I have to go?" he looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Yes. Now that you're finally ready, let's go," she sighed, walking towards the door.

"Nanao-chan," Shunsui said quietly. She stopped in her tracks. "I have another problem. Will you hear me out?"

"We should go already."

"The thing is," he said, completely ignoring that last comment. "I wanted to wear my haori because I thought it would make me look sexy, but it seems that it's wrinkled, dirty, and it smells like alcohol—"

"So take it off, then," she said sliding open the door and walking out into the corridor.

"Nanao-chan," he called running after her, grabbing his hat.

"HEY, you two new recruits!" she shouted to the two younger female shinigami polishing the floor.

"I-I-Is-ssss-se-ff-ffukutaichou! Good morning!"

"You missed a spot back there. And the corners are filthy!" she said power walking towards the main gate of the 8-bantai headquarters.

"Terribly sorry, ma'am! We'll do it again from the beginning!" they said as the bowed deeply, foreheads practically to the floor.

"Nanao-chan" called Shunsui, bounding down the hall after her. "Wait for meeeee! Oh, good work, you two, keep up it up!" he said winking and waving as he ran after her.

"Thank you very much, Kyouraku-taichou!" they said blushing deeply.

"He's sooooo cool!" cried one.

"And handsome," said the other as they watched the bamboo hat chase after the serious book wielding fukutaichou.

"I wonder if they're romantically involved," wondered one aloud. "They say opposites attract…"

"OUCH!" The distant voice of their taichou could be heard even as the two commanding officers reached their destination.

"NAH!" the two new recruits said shaking their heads and walking towards the other side of the corridor.

10:07 AM

"We made it just in time," gasped Shunsui. Nanao rolled her eyes.

"If you had just used your shunpo—"

"But I didn't know where we were going, so I had to chase after you," he interrupted. "What are we doing here?" he said looking around at the 4-bantai headquarters.

"Oh, Ise-fukutaichou," said the Shinigami working at the reception. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but he does," she said gesturing to her taichou who was currently flirting with one of the cute pharmacist that was currently taking inventory.

The receptionist looked down at his appointment book. "Very well, Kyouraku-taichou, this way," he called.

"Coming," he chirped. "What is this all about?" he said following the receptionist.

"Routine physical," he said.

"What!" Shunsui said looking surprised. "Nanao-chan! You tricked me! You didn't tell me I had a physical today!"

"I figured it wasn't necessary. In any case, I have a meeting for the Shinigami Women's association. I'll be back in an hour to pick you up."

"Wait? Just what is going to happen to me? Noooooooooooo, my lovely, lovely, Nanao-chan!" he cried.

Nanao was about to walk out the door, when she felt the surge of a shunpo.

"Hey, Nanao-chan, if you wanted to play 'doctor' or nurse and patient, you could have just asked," Shunsui whispered saucily.

"W-what the—of all the nerve—" she said, blushing slightly, turning around furiously. But he had already used his shunpo to return to the waiting room. "Honestly," she muttered to herself, stomping off to her meeting.


	2. Ch 2: Meetings, Doctors & Paperwork

Disclaimer: Bleach is the creative property of Kubo Taito. Blah, blah, blah…on with Chapter 2.

Author's Note: I'm so pleased that a whole 5 people have admitted to liking my work. Keep up the reviews; I like to know what my readers think. Get ready, people, this chapter's got a surprise ending.

**The Babysitters Club: Chapter 2**

_**11:26 AM**_

Nanao walked back to the 4-bantai headquarters after another rather unproductive, not to say that it was not eventful of course, Shinigami Women's Association meeting.

Yachiru and Matsumoto as usual had been trying to push the necessity of tea and snacks during the meetings and Yumichika had somehow managed to make an appearance. He claimed that he had a legitimate complaint in that the uniforms were not stylish enough for the high-ranking shinigami. Yumichika professed that the shinigami should take more pride in how they look and dress more "appropriately" and by "appropriately" he meant that everyone should strive to look more like him.

Matsumoto strongly objected to this suggestion, claiming that his funny turtleneck would give her "assets" rash. Soi Fon at this point decided that Yumichika had said enough and therefore was kicking him out on the grounds that the association was for "women" and that since he Yumichika was not biologically a woman, he had no right to be present at the meeting. Yumichika responded by noting that neither was Yoruichi since she spent most of her time as a male cat.

Soi Fon got upset and called out her Suzume-bachi. Nanao decided that she should interfere and do some crowd control before the whole meeting hall went up in smoke. She turned to Yumichika and commented that his hair was looking a little dull and dry and that his eyebrow was starting to wilt from the humidity. She was about to add that his uniform was a bit wrinkled, but Yumichika was already out the door trying vainly to revive the facial decoration.

Nanao had decided to adjourn the meeting early since by this time Yachiru was complaining of "hunger pains" and Matsumoto was complaining of a hangover. Just when she thought that things could not possibly get any worse, she heard the voice of a certain squeaky fukutaichou.

"Nanao-san! Wait up!" It was Hinamori—always the informal one. Nanao slowed her power walking down to a brisk walk, but said nothing. "Um, about last night…I, uh…well, you see, I um," Hinamori began, wringing her hands. "I wanted to um…I…"

Nanao was getting annoyed since Hinamori was not getting to the point. "Hinamori-fukutaichou," she said finally stopping in front of the gate to the 4-bantai headquarters. "I realize that you are distraught over the betrayal of your taichou," she said candidly. "However, I would strongly advise against the use of alcohol to alleviate your grief. 4-bantai has psychiatric counseling services available to those who need them. I think that Unohana-taichou could provide you with some referrals upon your request. The continuation of such behaviors like the ones exhibited last night could lead you to do things you may regret later."

"Nanao-san…"

"While I won't pretend that I didn't see anything, Hinamori-fukutaichou. I will tell you this. You were lucky this morning. Usually I call Hitsugaya-taichou to come and pick up his fukutaichou on these kinds of mornings." Hinamori looked down at the ground. "Well, if there's nothing else, I must go and retrieve my own taichou at this time. If you'll excuse me."

Nanao bowed briefly and left Hinamori at the gate to contemplate her words. While Nanao usually hated playing the bitch, she was on a tight schedule today and had bigger problems to worry about that Hinamori's self-confidence and dependency issues.

_**11:47 AM**_

"Ise-fukutaichou!" said one of the 4-bantai members. "Kyouraku-taichou's treatment has just been completed," he reported.

"Treatment?" she said, raising one eyebrow. "I wasn't aware of any treatment. I thought he was just supposed to have a routine physical today."

"If you could come this way, I can explain everything in detail…"

"Alright," she said as she allowed herself to be led into the room where her taichou had been treated. The curtain "protecting" her precious taichou's body had been drawn, but he gestured for her to sit in the hard-backed chair next to the bed. "Okay, so what did he need this time?" she sighed as she lowered herself into the chair.

"Well, I'm not actually the one who treated him, but I can tell you that—"

"So what are you doing still standing here!" she snapped. "Go get the doctor that diagnosed and treated him!" she said impatiently.

"Yes, ma'am!" he rose to attention. "Terribly sorry. I'll go get him right away!" she said scrambling to the door. Nanao rolled her eyes and crossed her arms and legs in irritation.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting," said a low voice. "Ise-fukutaichou, I'm the one that treated Kyouraku-taichou. I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive Wakabayashi, he's got a major crush on you and—okay, sorry, I'll get to the point," he laughed nervously after making eye contact with her famous glare of death. "I don't know how to put this, but…"

Nanao felt a bead of cold sweat trickle down the side of her forehead. She swallowed nervously, but showed no emotion.

"I…um…well, you see…"

"Just get to the point!" she snapped for the second time today.

"Okay, well you see, we thought it might be funny to tell Kyouraku-taichou that he could no longer consume alcoholic beverages—as a joke of course. He's miraculously in perfect health, but we thought that as a, eh-he-he—" he laughed nervously as Nanao stood up wordlessly and approached him. "Hmm?"

Nanao swiftly took out her fan and smacked him sharply on the forehead, producing a distinct red mark on the young doctor's face.

"What the hell were you thinking! That was in poor taste!" she said, her voice taking on a nasty edge. "I can't believe you told him that! And what the hell happened after that?" she yelled.

"Well—"

"Nanao-chan," a familiar voice groaned from behind the curtain.

"Taichou!" Nanao said in surprise, pulling back the curtains partially to find a somewhat groggy Shunsui with a large cross-shaped bandage above his right eyebrow. "What happened to you?"

"Well, as I was trying to explain earlier, he actually believed us and fainted. We didn't expect him to faint and he just banged his head on the corner of the examining table, knocking himself unconscious."

"Nanao-chan, you were worried about me," Shunsui said happily, sitting up.

"Of course I was worried about you," Nanao said. "You still haven't looked at the reports or the complaints." Shunsui sweat dropped and sighed as Nanao continued, "And we're far behind—"

"Nanao-chan."

"Yes?" she said annoyed that she had interrupted her again.

"I—"

"Well, you don't seem to have a concussion or anything, Kyouraku-taichou," the doctor said poking his head into the curtain. "I think you can—"

"Nanao-chan," Shunsui gasped. "Have you been hitting other men while I was unconscious?" he said accusingly pointing to the red welt on the doctor's forehead. "But that's the fan you use to smack me," he whined, recognizing the pattern all too well. "I can't believe you've been cheating on me. How long has this been going on? How long have I been unconscious—OUCH!" Shunsui was once again stopped mid-sentence by Nanao's fan.

"You've only been unconscious for an hour or two," she said, a vein appearing on her forehead, as she rapped Shunsui again for emphasis, just barely missing the area he hit on the table. "Now, if there's nothing more," she said, turning to the doctor. "Is he free to go?" she demanded.

"Free as a bird," he responded weakly.

"Taichou, let's go then," she said walking out of the room towards the reception. "Certification!" she called.

"Yes, ma'am!" bowed the pour soul working at the reception as she scrambled to line up the documents for the 8-bantai fukutaichou. Nanao took out her hanko (see footnote) and the little red ink pad from the inside of her uniform. She swiftly stamped all 6 copies with "Ise" and took the top copy for herself.

"Yo, Nanao!" called Ukitake as she briskly walked out the double doors of the 4-bantai headquarters.

"Nanao-chan," Shunsui called after her, holding an ice pack to his forehead. "Yo, Sexy," he called to Ukitake as he chased after Nanao. "Drinking later?"

"My place or yours?"

Shunsui took one look at the slowly fading figure of his fukutaichou and said quickly, "Definitely yours. See you then," Shunsui called as he ran out the double doors after Nanao.

_**12:54 PM**_

Nanao had somehow been coerced into going to the cafeteria after retrieving the reports she had organized in the morning. Shunsui said that he was hungry and that there would be plenty of time to "work" after lunch, since he claimed that one could not think properly on an empty stomach.

Shunsui had gone outside to eat lunch, preferring to sit and eat under the tree that was rooted on a cliff that overlooked the west part of the Soul Society. Nanao decided to work through lunch in an attempt to make up for lost time. According to her planner, she was exactly 53 minutes behind schedule, which meant that if she worked through lunch, she might be able to catch up.

Nanao put the reports on the last open table in the crowded cafeteria and walked up to the counter to order. While she usually only drank a small bowl of miso soup if anything, which she discovered was just enough to sustain her through the day without her fainting, today since she had been dragged all the way out to the cafeteria, she decided to indulge.

"Ise-fukutaichou, what can I get you today?" said the cheerful girl who worked at the counter.

"Eggplant combo," Nanao said stamping her name once again on the sheet next to the register. The Soul Society gave its high-ranking members a monthly stipend for food related expenses. She simply needed to stamp her name at the cafeteria or at various stores and the cost would automatically be deducted from her monthly balance.

"Coming right up," the girl said cheerfully as she poured a bowl of miso soup and placed a bowl of rice next to the plate of sautéed eggplant. Nanao bowed slightly before heading to get a cup of tea at the end of the counter.

Just as she was about to reach for a cup, another small hand reached for the same cup from the other side of the counter.

"Excuse me," they both said at the same time. Nanao looked up.

"Hitsugaya-taichou, good afternoon," she said bowing, allowing him to take the cup.

"Excuse me," Hitsugaya mumbled as he filled a cup for Nanao first and then filling another one for himself.

"Thank you," she said, as she carried her tray back to her table.

She was surprised however when he followed her to her seat and asked, "Mind if I join you? It's crowded…"

"Go ahead," she said, moving the reports onto the empty chair next to her, and gesturing for him to sit down.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

Nanao picked up her bowl of rice and started to nibble at it curiously as she stared at Hitsugaya who was silently drinking his tea.

"Busy morning?" she offered.

"Not really, especially on days like this," he said, sipping his tea and gazing out the window. "Plenty of work to do, reports and complaints as you know, it's the first of the month and everything. But until Matsumoto unlocks the reports, I can't touch them," he sighed, running his hands through his spiked snow-white hair.

"I see…" Nanao said, taking a slice of eggplant and placing it on her rice, allowing the salty sauce to be soaked up by the shiny rice and eating the two together as she too stared out the window. The table they were sitting at offered a beautiful view of one of the gardens in the Soul Society.

"You?" he asked after a few pauses, taking another sip of tea.

"Well, everything's in order and ready to go," she said, motioning to the stack of reports. "But my job is to simply unlock them and organize them and prioritize them so that he can review and approve them, she said pointing to another window which showed a relaxed Shunsui sleeping under the tree with a blade of grass lazily hanging out of his mouth.

"You didn't call me this morning. I mean it is Monday, and the first of the month…Was Matsumoto not there this morning?" Hitsugaya asked, munching on the rice ball he bought.

"Why do you ask?" Nanao said carefully, as she took a sip of her soup.

"Because she didn't show up until after the Shinigami Women's Association meeting," Hitsugaya said dully. "I haven't been able to do paperwork all morning, which is just as well I suppose. I did get some valuable training time with Hyourinmaru, but I was just wondering. Do you know anything?" he asked, finishing off his rice ball.

"I—"

"Hello!" said a sexy voice covering Hitsugaya's eyes from behind.

"MATSUMOTO!" Hitsugaya exclaimed, slamming down his cup onto the table, stunning Nanao into nearly spilling her soup.

"Ooh! How did you know!" Matsumoto pouted cutely. Nanao raised one eyebrow. "How did you guess?"

"Matsumoto, where the hell have you been all morning!" he demanded, turning around only to find himself eye level with Matsumoto's cleavage. His eyes widened and he promptly looked away, blushing slightly.

"Oh, taichou!" she giggled. "You dirty little boy!" she teased, spinning around and pretending to blush as she cupped her face with her hands.

"MATSUMOTO!" he shouted, standing up from his chair.

"Taichou, it's been awhile, but I don't mind if you don't mind," she winked as she skipped towards the door.

Hitsugaya looked stunned for a second as if he were processing those words before blushing and sprinting after her. "Damn you, Matsumoto! Never mind that nonsense. You release the seal on those reports NOW!"

Nanao picked up Hitsugaya's teacup and put it on her tray as she watched Hitsugaya bound after her, sighing in sympathy. She gave the tray to the clean up crew and walked outside with her reports.

_**1:38 PM**_

Fortunately for her, Shunsui wasn't sleeping. He was doing something much more productive. He was hitting on a newly entered member of 6-bantai. The shinigami he was talking to was clearly blushing and was cornered against the tree. The two didn't notice Nanao until she was standing right in back of Shunsui.

"I-I-Is-Ise-ff-fukutaichou!" the shinigami exclaimed in surprise.

"Oh, is that you, Nanao-chan? Shunsui said, turning around.

"Is he bothering you?" she asked the new recruit. "Hada, was it? Hada Akira, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. How did you—"

"Please return to your division," she said quietly. The shinigami bowed and left.

"Nanao-chan—"

"Back!" she said walking towards the 8-bantai headquarters.

_**2:02 PM**_

They arrived at the office shortly and she pointed to his desk and the chair he hardly ever used.

"Sit. We have paperwork to do. These reports need to be submitted by noon tomorrow, but since you have a meeting in the morning, you need to finish these tonight. We need to take care of these complaints by midnight and you need to approve these reports. Here," she said, handing him a calligraphy brush and an inkwell.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"I ordered a new hanko for you but, they had to back order it since they ran out of marble. So you have to sign your full name this time."

"On all the blanks?" he said paling.

"Yes, since you were the one who dropped your hanko into the river," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Gimme a break, Nanao-chan," he pleaded. "There are 83 reports here," he said picking up the cover sheet. "Each report has at least 50 or 60 places or more to stamp…I'll get arthritis in my hands if I have to sign every single one!"

"Well it's not like you have to read it or anything. You've already read the summaries last week. All you have to do is sign today. You only have to do the first 46 tonight," she said, picking up the stack of reports and dropping them facing her taichou. "The rest are due before the 15th."

"Oh, okay." He sighed in resignation, opened the first report and began signing.

"Honestly, it's like pulling teeth from you," she said sitting down at her own desk.

Sitting at her desk, Nanao took out her ink and brush set and began to make the ink as she read the first set of complaints.

_**3:20 PM**_

Nanao was nearly half done with the complaints against her taichou, minus the sexual harassment cases, which generally took longer to read. So far she had taken care of the fines and unpaid tabs writing, '_Pay balance due immediately from bank account 0039583782 Kyouraku Shunsui—per Ise Nanao_' and stamping 'Ise' onto each of the reports. The alcohol and noise related cases generally assessed a fine, which she also had paid on behalf of her taichou, who was still sighing and signing paperwork.

Nanao looked at the pile of sexual harassment cases. She quickly scanned the first pages to get a feel for the kind of accusations that were being made and what they sought as retribution. Most were the standard, 'Please leave me alone because I have a boyfriend/husband' complaints. But 3 names stood out in the pile.

_'Nakata Hiromu' 'Komatsubara Yuusuke' 'Sakaki Shin'_

Nanao looked at the case carefully. "Hiromu, Yuusuke, Shin…" she said quietly, contemplating their names. "_Those are guys' names_," she thought. "_I wonder if they're feminine looking like Hada Akira, so he hit on them by mistake._" She turned the next page and almost fainted when she saw the accusation.

**_'Personal Statement: I was drugged and raped by Kyouraku-taichou. –Nakata Hiromu'_**

**_'Personal Statement: I was drugged and raped by Kyouraku-taichou. –Komatsubara Yuusuke'_**

**_'Personal Statement: I was drugged and raped by Kyouraku-taichou. –Sakaki Shin'_**

_**

* * *

**_To the 'faithful' readers of The Babysitters Club, (_This was originally the note under "chapter 3" but I moved it here because I unknowingly was violating a site policy._)

Yes, I know my story is only a pathetic two chapters, but it's been fun writing it and I hope my characterization isn't too off. Anyway, I wrote the ending of Chapter 2 intending to turn this fic serious, but at the last second I thought of a lighter, more humorous continuation. Writing two separate continuations for one beginning might be fun, but probably really confusing to write and upload.

I was thinking that maybe I could write both continuations at the same time, just uploading them under something like "Chapter 3: Humorous Continuation" and "Chapter 3: Serious Continuation" but both under the same title, "The Babysitters Club." Or I could split them, keeping one under this title and starting a "new" fic for the other, calling it something either generic like "The Babysitters Club: Ending 2" or giving it a completely new title. The thing is that if I split them, the one that I will probably keep under this title will be the humorous continuation, putting the more serious continuation under a different title.

I'm not entirely sure how dark and angsty things will get with the serious continuation because to tell the truth, I haven't planned the endings yet. But I am a big fan of angst and character death—not saying someone will die, but I love the fics that really pull at your heart and make you want to scream and cry.

I would like to know what readers want or are anticipating in the following chapter(s) of this fic. Do you want things to turn serious, or do you like things light and humorous? If you want both endings, shall I split them or keep them under one name?

I guess until I can figure out what I'm going to do with this, I'm probably going to put this story on hiatus. Please, I need advice and direction.

All you readers out there, yoroshiku onegaishimasu!

--Midnight Sun--

* * *

Footnote: 

1. In Japan, instead of signing things, they have a round "stamp" with their last name carved into the bottom of some sort of cylindrical stone (like marble), which acts as their signature on official documents. The spot they stamp is usually represented by the kanji for "in" as in "inkan" which is another name for "hanko."


	3. Ch 3: Innocent or Guilty?

**Disclaimer**:

Bleach is not mine, property of Kuto Taito…nuf' said.

**Author's Note**: **(_READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING ON TO CHAPTER 3_)**

Due to the seeming popularity of this fic, much to my surprise, I have decided to split the continuation of "The Babysitters Club" into two separate stories. For now, I will refer to them as the "light, humorous arc" and the "dark, angst arc." The continuation that will remain under this title will be the lighter one. The darker, more angsty continuation will be posted under a different title—to be determined later. The two continuations may have overlapping references since I'm not entirely sure what will be included in the angsty version.

Anyway, today's update is a bit on the serious side, but it's definitely the lighter of the two continuations. Just FYI, I have two separate directions for this story. While today's update may seem a bit serious, I promise lots of funny scenes either at the end of this chapter or in the next chapter.

Finally, I love to know what the readers think, so please leave reviews (preferably longer than "It's funny." or "It sucks.") so I can improve my writing. Thanks in advance.

—"Mayonaka no Taiyou (Midnight Sun)—

**The Babysitters Club**

Last time on "_The Babysitters Club_"…

'_**Personal Statement: I was drugged and raped by Kyouraku-taichou. –Nakata Hiromu'**_

'_**Personal Statement: I was drugged and raped by Kyouraku-taichou. –Komatsubara Yuusuke'**_

'_**Personal Statement: I was drugged and raped by Kyouraku-taichou. –Sakaki Shin'**_

**Chapter 3: Innocent or Guilty?**

_**4:03 PM**_

Nanao sat there for what seemed like hours, as she could hardly believe her eyes. She tried to tell herself that this was a dream or someone's sick idea of a joke, but she knew what she had read was real and that there was no running from such strong allegations.

Sure, her taichou was an alcoholic that of course refused to shave and a shameless flirt and womanizer in her opinion, but in all the years she had served under Shunsui, though she hated to admit it, he had always been good to her, his actions showing his true feelings. This was the first time his morality seriously came into question.

Part of her wanted to turn the page and read the gory details to be done with it, but a part of her was too scared to turn the page. For once, the truth frightened her—it was too much. Her head was starting to spin and her vision was starting to blur and darken. She smelled something sweet and intoxicating—not perfume, something…

"Nanao…" called a voice faintly from behind her. "Nanao…Maybe she didn't here me," it muttered crawling to her side. "Oi, Nanao-chan," called Shunsui, peering over her shoulder and waving his hand in front of her blank stare. "Nanao-chan?" He stopped waving his hand and looked into her eyes seriously hoping that his familiar face would somehow snap her back to reality. Thinking she was somehow playing with him, he smiled and shook her shoulder.

Nanao's body responded rather involuntarily swaying to the left and right. Shunsui nearly jumped out of his skin in surprise and shock when Nanao started falling as if in slow motion. His eyes widened in sudden concern. He moved slightly as if to catch her, missed her completely and was rewarded by her unconscious elbow slamming into his groin.

"Sorry, Nanao-cha-----------n," he groaned. "_I guess I deserve it for missing your body, though_. _Damn, even unconscious she has good aim,_" he thought to himself, wincing.

_**9:19 PM**_

Nanao awoke slowly, opening her eyes and finding the world blurry all around her. She sat up slowly trying to get her bearings. A wet washcloth fell off her forehead and onto her lap, soaking the sheet that was covering the lower half of her body slightly. Nanao picked up the washcloth curiously, trying to remember why she was lying down.

She drew a blank and realized that she did not even know where she was, as she was not wearing her glasses. She began crawling on all fours, disrupting the sheets and trying vainly to find her glasses, praying that she would not accidentally smash them.

"Here," said a familiar voice. The voice held out something to her, placing it near her hands.

Nanao immediately recognized her glasses and sat up to put them on. The first thing she saw was a goofy smiled Shunsui tipping his bamboo hat up.

"Yo!" he said waving.

"T-tt-tt-taichou!" she exclaimed, backpedaling rather clumsily and landing on her practically non-existent derrière with a loud thud. "What are you doing—_What the hell are you looking at_!" she finished angrily, pulling her slightly open yukata closed, noticing she was looking a bit like Matsumoto.

"Nice b—OUCH!" Shunsui was just about to compliment Nanao when his serious fukutaichou turned feisty and yanked his hat off his head, banging the poor cone-shaped shade several times into her taichou's head. Then she remembered that she was in an unfamiliar place, in clothes that did not belong to her, in a bed—

"You weren't trying tt-to—" Nanao started, stuttering. "You were! Weren't you!" she gasped, panicking and stupidly backing up against a wall.

"Nanao-chan, you fainted," he said concernedly.

"I did?" she said, putting down a book she was about to chuck at the unsuspecting taichou's head.

"I don't know, one minute I was talking to you, lighting some incense. You didn't respond, so I went over to check on you. And then you fainted. Well, I tried to catch you, but I missed," he said sheepishly, leaving out the embarrassing part about being unexpectedly nailed in the groin. "I called one of the members from 4-bantai to come and treat you. They changed you out of your uniform because you were burning up."

"Oh, taichou, I'm very sorry," she said bowing deeply, putting her forehead to the floor. "I thought you might have—I'm sorry." She paused for several moments.

"Did you read the complaint?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he said sliding the window open, looking out at the quiet night sky. "It must have really shocked you."

"…"

"Nanao-chan, can I ask you something? Do you think I did it?"

"Well…I was always believed in looking at the evidence first before making a decision," she said carefully. "But, I was so afraid it might be true, I couldn't even bring myself to turn to the page with all the evidence…" she said turning away and keeping her eyes cast down. "I—I—"

"Nanao-chan, let me ask you something else. Do you trust me? I mean really trust me?"

"When I became a fukutaichou of 8-bantai, I swore my life to the taichou of this bantai. I trust you with my life."

"Then would you believe me if I said I'm innocent—that I didn't do it?"

"As I have always said, I will always be a few steps behind you so as not to get unnecessarily involved in something that is none of my concern, but I will always be behind you to support you."

"I see…Well, then, here's the rest of the report," he said, pulling out a tiny slip of paper from the inside of his kimono and handing it to her.

"What's this?" she asked opening it up.

"The rest of the report," he sighed. Nanao looked at the paper and slowly read it aloud to herself.

'_Case 34 XP-L92-748 DA: Nakata Hiromu, Komatsubara Yuusuke & Sakaki Shin vs. 8-bantai taichou, Kyouraku Shunsui._'

"A court summon?" she asked. Shunsui nodded.

'_Due to the recent assassination of the Central 46 Chamber-members, the Superior Court is to be in charge of judiciary related concerns until further notice. Your presence is required at the Superior Court 48 hours from the time stamped at the end of this form.'_

"48 hours…that's plenty of time," Shunsui said stretching his arms and back lazily.

Nanao looked at the time at the bottom and then at the clock on the wall. "Taichou, that's tomorrow morning."

**_THE NEXT MORNING…_**

"All rise. The Superior Court for the Gotei-13tai of the Seireitei is now in session, Judge Hitsugaya Toushirou presiding in the place of former 9-bantai taichou, Tousen Kaname."

Wearing the billowy judge's robe that was clearly meant for the taller Tousen-taichou, Hitsugaya walked in stoically, holding a file, looked around briefly and proceeded to sit on the huge podium that oversees the rest of the courtroom.

"Please be seated," he said quietly. "On record."

Iemura, receiving the nod of approval from Hitsugaya, turned on the tape recorder, opened the transcript notebook, and dipped his brush in ink.

"The case that will be heard today is the case of Nakata Hiromu, Komatsubara Yuusuke, and Sakaki Shin vs. 8-bantai taichou, Kyouraku Shunsui, 34 XP-L92-748 DA," Hitsugaya said reading off the cover of the brown file he brought in with him. He then looked at the juror's box.

"Before we commence the trial today, I would like to thank all the jurors for attending. I am about to give you the juror's oath, which requires you to make a fair decision based on the evidence that you hear in this courtroom and the law that will be explained to you. Iemura."

"Right away, Judge Hitsugaya!" he said standing up from his post. "Members of the jury, please raise your right hand. Kira, Byakuya, Yachiru, Renji, Hinamori, Nemu, Komamura, Soi Fon, and Ikkaku raised their hands solemnly.

"Do each of you solemnly swear or affirm that you will base and make your decision in the case now before the court solely on the evidence given in the court and the law which the judge will explain to you?"

"I do," came a unified response.

"You may be seated," said Hitsugaya, shuffling his papers. "You are about to hear evidence in this case and must decide by considering only the information you receive from this very courtroom. You must put aside any feelings of anger, sympathy, passion, or prejudice you might have. The decisions you make here must be based on a fair evaluation of the evidence presented."

"As you hear the witnesses testify," he continued, without missing a beat. "You must decide who to believe and how much their testimony should be valued. Consider the following as you listen to each witness: 1) the attitude, behavior, and appearance of the witness as they conduct themselves in court, 2) how well the witness can recall what transpired, and 3) any reason they may have for withholding or deviating from the truth. It is up to you all, as members of the jury, to decide whether to believe all, part, or none of what each of the witnesses testifies to here."

Hitsugaya looked around for any inconsistencies in his courtroom before proceeding.

"Is the prosecution prepared to give its opening statement on behalf of its three clients?"

"Thank you your honor," said the well-groomed professional attorney the prosecution had hired, standing up to make his case. "The defendant you see before you has willfully harmed my clients, drugging them, forcing them to consume alcoholic beverages, and sexually exploiting them while they were in an inebriated state."

"Is the defense prepared to give its opening statement?"

"Yes," said Shunsui standing up, his pink haori gone and replaced with the standard white haori, clean and pressed with the 8-bantai emblem in the back.

Nanao sitting in back with all the documents froze and her jaw dropped.

"Taichou! _This_ is the brilliant lawyer! _Yourself_! You're going to represent yourself!" she sputtered.

"Why not?"

"I don't mean to be presumptuous, but this is just crazy! You don't even have a law background! Do you realize what can happen if you're found guilty!"

"Nanao-chan, relax. I know what I'm doing," he winked.

"Ahem, now if there are no other lover squabbles, Kyouraku-taichou," Hitsugaya said, clearing his throat. "Your opening statement?"

"Sorry, sorry," Shunsui said waving at Nanao to return to her seat. He scratched his beard thoughtfully and exhaled. "Opening statement…hmmm…I think I'm being wrongly accused. Period."

Nanao nearly fell off her chair.

"Would you like to add anything to that?" Hitsugaya asked curiously, breaking out of the formality of the whole situation, slightly cocking one eyebrow up.

"Nope."

_To be continued…_

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note**

I based my "trial" mostly on the American justice system, since I don't know much about the Japanese one or the one they used to sentence Rukia. I'm not a law major or anything. I did research and this was the best I could do. I want order so that my characters can wreck havoc on it.

Anyway, I hoped to convey a somewhat believable court ambience—but of course with people like Shunsui, we need lots of bailiffs! Order in the court! Objection! Craziness on crack shall ensue next chapter when witnesses are actually called to the stands. Tune in for another chapter…


	4. Ch 4: The Prosecution

**Disclaimer**: Bleach is not mine, property of Kuto Taito.

**The Babysitters Club: Chapter 4 – The Prosecution**

"You may call your first witness, what did you say your name was again?" Hitsugaya said to the attorney.

"Aizawa Takanori, of Aizawa Law Firm, my father was a famous—"

"Just get to the point," Hitsugaya mumbled grumpily.

"Yes, Your Honor. The prosecution calls Nakata Hiromu." Hiromu, a large, muscular shinigami with short hair stepped up to the front of the courtroom.

"Please approach the clerk and be sworn."

Iemura raised his hand and said, "Please raise your right hand. Do you solemnly swear or affirm to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

"I do."

"Please be seated." Hiromu stepped up to the stand and plopped himself down rather unceremoniously. "Please state your name for the court."

"'Nakata.' 'Naka' as in 'middle' and 'ta' as in 'rice field.' 'Hiromu.' The bow (yumi) radical on the left and katakana 'mu' on the right."

"Bantai?"

"11-bantai."

"You may proceed, Aizawa-san."

"Hiromu, please tell the court in your own words what happened on the night of July 27."

"Well, I was at this bar one night drinking my usual waiting for my date, when suddenly out of nowhere, this guy, Kyouraku-taichou, comes in with his drinking buddies."

"Could you identify for the record, these 'drinking buddies'?" his attorney asked him.

"I don't know, I'm new, so I don't know people's names too well, but they looked like pretty high ranking shinigami. There was one with red hair and these weird tattoos all over his face…Oh, that one in the jury." He said pointing to the figure in question.

"Hey, I resent that!" roared Renji. "My tattoos are not weird—they're highly stylized and require tremendous—"

"Order! Order!" Hitsugaya pounded the gavel. "Abarai-fukutaichou, please, this is a courtroom. Please keep your emotions in check. This is your first and final warning."

"Please continue," sighed Hitsugaya.

"So the weird red haired dude, this girly guy with long white hair and that girl over there with the nice rack sleeping on the floor."

Hitsugaya groaned as he looked down. He saw his buxom fukutaichou sleeping peacefully at the foot of his podium.

"MATSUMOTO!" he shouted.

"Taichou," she yawned. "Oh, what's everyone doing here?"

"Matsumoto, you were supposed to find a replacement for Unohana-taichou!"

"Huh?"

"The bailiff!" he shouted exasperatedly.

"What bailiff? Who, what are we talking about?" she said sitting up and rubbing one sleepy eye.

"Matsumoto," Hitsugaya sighed once again. "Go find someone to be the bailiff and go make me some tea. Now move!"

"Yes, sir!" she said, scrambling out the door.

"As for you, Nakata-san. I would appreciate it if you would refer to people more respectfully, not only when you speak to, but also when you speak _of_ high-ranking shinigami. The 'red-haired dude' is Abarai-fukutaichou. The 'girly white-haired shinigami' you are probably referring to is Ukitake-taichou. And that shinigami 'with the nice rack' is Matsumoto-fukutaichou. Please refer to them most respectfully if you would like the court to extend to you the same courtesy."

"Yes, Your Honor," he mumbled.

"Please continue."

"As I was saying, these four came in and started drinking. They were playing some sort of drinking game that involved playing cards and lots of alcohol. The white, I mean Ukitake-taichou passed out after a few rounds and his lower ranking members came to collect him when he did. Abarai-fukutaichou reached over to scratch his leg and was so drunk that when he was coming back up, he slammed his head into the table on his way up and knocked himself unconscious. The one with the—, I mean, Matsumoto-fukutaichou and Kyouraku-taichou kept drinking until she passed out too."

"Now, what happened after that?"

"Well, the bar was not crowded that night and when his buddies passed out, he came over to where I was sitting and introduced himself. He said he was a taichou and asked if I wanted a drink. I didn't want to be rude, so I took him up on his offer. He said he had some liquor being kept at another bar that had private drinking rooms and asked if I would join him for a round or two."

"Did you go with him?"

"Yeah, he said it was right next to the bar so we'd be back in no time. So I went to this place and they brought out the liquor."

"What kind of liquor?"

"I don't know; it was caramel colored and kinda sweet. We had several rounds and I was beginning to feel dizzy, but I was in my 'happy place'."

"Your 'happy place'?"

"Yeah, that place where everything seems good and happy. Then he started touching my leg. I pushed him away and told him to quit doing that. I remember telling him I was skilled in kidou and that I wasn't afraid to use it. After that, I don't remember what happened but when I woke up, I was naked, and I felt violated."

"You were sure it was Kyouraku-taichou?"

"Yeah, he left his pink haori there."

"Where was he?"

"He was gone in the morning."

"What did you do with the haori?"

"Well, I went to the bathroom when I woke up and when I returned, everything was cleaned up and the haori was gone."

"Did you ask the staff at the bar what happened?"

"Yeah, but they said they didn't send anyone to clean that room or hear anyone else come in. He's a sneaky one so I'm sure to cover it up, he came back and made it so everything was—"

"Objection!" said Nanao standing up. "Your Honor, the question calls for inadmissible speculation on the part of the witness. There's no basis for his claim."

"Any response, Aizawa-san?" Hitsugaya said, turning his attention to the prosecution.

"Your Honor, she's not the defense attorney," he pointed out flatly.

"Sustained," Hitsugaya said pounding the gavel once. "However, Ise-fukutaichou, you are not the defense attorney, so please refrain from further comment unless you are called to the stand."

"I apologize, Your Honor," she said sincerely, before taking her seat.

"Does the prosecution have any further questions?"

"No, Your Honor."

"Any cross-examination, Kyouraku-taichou?"

"Yes, Your Honor," Shunsui said standing up, sauntering over to the witness stand. "I'm sorry, but I don't really remember who you are, but there was one particular part of your testimony that bothered me." Shunsui leaned over to Nakata and stared at him with a tired face.

"Yes?"

"The alcohol. Are you sure it was sweet?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure it was brown?"

"Caramel-colored."

"Oh, ok, caramel colored?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"No further questions," Shunsui said, turning abruptly, his white haori fluttering behind him as he returned to his seat.

"Any redirect, Aizawa-san?"

"No, Your Honor," Aizawa said standing up.

"You may be excused, Nakata-san."

Nakata stepped down and returned to his seat.

"You may call your next witness, Aizawa-san."

"The prosecution calls Komatsubara Yuusuke."

"Um…about that…" said a tiny voice.

"You're not Komatsubara Yuusuke," said Aizawa.

"I'm Yamada Hanatarou. We're both part of 4-bantai," he squeaked meekly. "Komatsubara-san was killed by a hollow yesterday while treating another shinigami."

"I see," Aizawa said looking down at his paperwork. "Well, then, the prosecution calls Sakaki Shin." A tall, blonde, lanky boy with glasses and a mushroom style hair cut stepped up to the stand.

Iemura raised his hand and said, "Please raise your right hand. Do you solemnly swear or affirm to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

"I do."

"Please be seated." Shin sat down slowly as if the chair were to burn him if he sat down too quickly. "Please state your name for the court."

"'Sakaki.' Tree radical on the left and 'god' (kami) on the right. 'Shin.' 'Shin' as in 'shinjitsu'; 'truth.'

"Bantai?"

"12-bantai."

"Please continue, Aizawa-san."

"Shin, please tell the court in your own words what happened on the night of July 26."

"Well, I was invited to an informal assembly to imbibe beverages of an alcoholic nature and—"

"OBJECTION!"

"Now what! Who was that!" Hitsugaya shouted, looking around the courtroom angrily. "Abarai! I already warned you that—"

"You're such a fuckin' idiot, Abarai," sneered Ikkaku, interrupting Hitsugaya. "You're not allowed to object. You're a juror. Only attorneys are allowed to object, you retard. Your job is to _listen_." Ikkaku pointed to his ear with the hilt of his zanpakutou for emphasis.

"Well, excu-------se me for not understanding—"

"ORDER! ORDER!" Hitsugaya pounded his gavel loudly. "Where the hell is the bailiff? Where the hell is Matsumoto!"

"I'll go look for her!" offered Yachiru, waving her hand.

"No, you're part of the jury," Hitsugaya said with his arms crossed and a vein pulsing dangerously on his forehead.

"I'll just be a minute! I'll go find big-boobie-neesan and the…the…"

"The bailiff, you stupid fukutaichou," shouted Ikkaku.

"I knew that, pachinko head!" she spat back.

"You don't even know who or what kind of person to look for," he teased, resting his neck on his zanpakutou which he had resting on his shoulders between his arms.

"Shut up, baldie! I'll go find big-boobie-neesan _and_ the bailiff! Just you watch!" Yachiru stood up on her seat, bounced off Byakuya, who despite being irritated was far too refined to do more than humph indignantly, and kicked Ikkaku from the back as she bounced out of the courtroom.

"OUCH!"

"If there are no more interruptions," Hitsugaya said as he banged his gavel multiple times to gain the attention of his jurors.

"Sakaki-san, please continue, but for the sake of the educational level of the jury, please proceed using a simplified vocabulary."

"Thank you," said Renji, crossing his arms in satisfaction. Byakuya rolled his eyes in impatience.

"Well, unlike Hiromu, I was clearly drugged. There must have been some sort of drug in the drink that I was given. After I took the first sip, I immediately started to feel the effects. I was happy for a while. We all started drinking more; Kyouraku-taichou came over and introduced himself. He started talking to me about who knows what. Before I knew it, most of the people with whom we were drinking had either left for another bar or had passed out."

"And what did you do at this point?"

"Well, nothing. Kyouraku-taichou asked for more alcohol and food. I went to the restroom and when I came back there was more food and alcohol. He encouraged me to eat and drink, but he never took anything but a sip from his personal jug of alcohol. He must have put something into the food because right after I started to consume the food, I was feeling weak and ready to pass out. He started coming onto me moments later."

"Did you feel uncomfortable when he did that?"

"Of course, I'm straight, nerdy, but straight! He came onto me and I pushed him away. He forced me to have sexual relations with him."

"Did you fight back?"

"Naturally I did what I could, but I'm no match for a taichou."

"Thank you. No further questions, Your Honor."

"Any cross-examination, Kyouraku-taichou?"

"Yes, Your Honor." Shunsui stood up once again and walked over to the witness stand. He took a good look at Shin. "Funny, you don't look like my type. Too tall…not enough meat on you…I'm not too big on blondes—"

"Objection, Your Honor," Aizawa said, rising slightly. "Counsel is badgering the witness."

"I was just thinking aloud to myself that even if I were to come on to someone, drunk like no other, I don't think this guy would be my type."

"Sustained. Kyouraku-taichou, please refrain from commenting on the physical appearance of the witness."

"Sorry. Let me ask you something, Sakaki. You claim that I was the one that drugged you, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"You work under Kurotsuchi-taichou, right?"

"That's correct."

"The drug you ingested, what was it?"

"I don't know," he said indignantly. "I should be asking you that question."

"It didn't occur to you to ask Kurotsuchi-taichou to test you for it? I'm pretty sure he has an extensive database concerning these things."

"No, not at all."

"Ok. One last thing—you said that I _forced_ you to have sexual relations with you. Could you elaborate on that?"

"You were there."

"I know, but see the thing is, I think I'm innocent. So tell the court what I did, so that I know for future reference," he said goofily.

"Well you definitely exerted a great amount of physical force over my body."

"Did I use any kidou?"

"No."

"Did I call out my zanpakutou?"

"No."

"So I must have been holding you down pretty hard?"

"That's right."

"Did you struggle?"

"Yes, I thought I already mentioned that I did!"

"Just confirming the facts. I must have schemed and conspired pretty far in advance to have been able to successfully pull this off."

"You certainly are a devious one."

"Thank you, no further questions." Shunsui returned to his chair calmly.

"Any redirect from the prosecution?" Hitsugaya asked.

"No, Your Honor," replied Aizawa.

"Then you may be excused, Sakaki-san."

"The prosecution rests its case, Your Honor."

"You may call your first witness, Kyouraku-taichou."

"The defense calls Ise Nanao."

"What?" Nanao nearly fell off her chair when she heard her name.

"Nanao-chan, please!" Shunsui pleaded.

"Taichou! You never said anything about me having to testify."

"I know, but I decided at the last minute—when you were trying to get me to shave before our court appearance."

"_Our_? I'm not being accused of anything, taichou. I just told you to shave and comb your hair. _What _did I do to deserve this punishment?"

"I'm not punishing you," he whined. "Think of it as a humble request on behalf of your lovely taichou."

"Humble request?" Nanao said throwing the notepad she had at his forehead. "No, humble request is me asking you to shave or comb your hair—"

"But my whiskers are what drive the ladies wild. I can't simply shave off the source of my sex appeal. Nanao-chan, please! Just this once, I'll never ask again. I promise!"

"I had to testify last time when you got fined for UZUI—Using a Zanpakutou Under the Influence. You said _that _would be the _last _time."

"PUH-LEEZE, Nanao-chan!"

Hitsugaya banged his gavel loudly. "No lover's squabbles in my courtroom. Either she testifies now or we shall disregard her as a possible witness."

"Nanao-chan," Shunsui looked at her with his puppy eyes. "I beg you."

"All right," she sighed.

"Thank you, lovely Nanao—OUCH." Shunsui was just about to kiss her when he got the water that had been sitting on his table for him splashed at him and the pitcher thrown at his face.

_Sorry guys, Chapter 4 was getting to be a little long, so Chapter 4 will be the prosecution and Chapter 5 will be the defense. Sorry I couldn't get Nanao-chan in more this chapter. But she will definitely be the start of the next chapter. I have written a little preview section for all you dedicated fans…_

_Cue end of Bleach ending theme. Final credits and…3, 2, 1._

_Ukitake: Next time on Bleach…_

_Nanao: Guess who got called to the witness stand?_

_Shunsui: Thank you lovely Nanao-chan!_

_Nanao: Why am I always called to bail you out all the time?_

_Shunsui: You know you love it._

_Ukitake: I wanna be called to the witness stand!_

_Shunsui: No offense, pretty boy, but I don't want you incriminating me for anything else._

_Ukitake: Hey!_

_Hitsugaya: Can't we all have a normal trial? And Matsumoto, where's my tea?_

_Matsumoto: Coming…We found the perfect bailiff, taichou. You're gonna be so proud of us._

_Hitsugaya: Why do I feel a headache coming on?_

_Matsumoto: Stay tuned everyone for another exciting chapter of "The Babysitters Club!"_

_Ukitake: Don't forget to review this chapter!_


	5. Ch 5: The Defense

Disclaimer: Kubo Taito's; not mine.

_Sorry, people, I had to fix some parts. I noticed some of the formatting and punctuation was off, so I went in and fixed it. The rest of the story is in tact.  
_

**The Babysitters Club**

** Chapter 5 The Defense: Nanao-chan to the Stands**

Nanao turned around abruptly after dousing her taichou in ice water and walked towards the back of the courtroom. She then stepped behind a massive file cabinet with wheels and began pushing it to the witness stand from behind. The cabinet itself was several times her size and no doubt filled to the max. The bottom was bulging and the wheels squeaked loudly under the stress of the weight of the cabinet as she slowly pushed it to the front. Nanao rested the file cabinet next to the witness stand and gestured to a waiting member of her squad to join her at the front before stepping up to the witness stand.

"Stand here," she commanded the tiny female shinigami.

Iemura once again stood up, raised his hand, and said, "Please raise your right hand. Do you solemnly swear or affirm to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

"I do," said Nanao pushing the bridge of her glasses up.

"Please be seated." Nanao sat gracefully on the chair and crossed her legs almost mechanically. "Please state your name for the court."

"8-bantai fukutaichou, Ise Nanao. 'Ise.' 'I (Pronounced 'eeh')' as in the kanji for 'Italy.' 'Se' as in 'zei' in 'oozei.' 'Legs' under 'soil' on the left and then another 'soil' under that, 'circle' (maru) on the right, all over 'power' (chikara). 'Nanao.' 'Nana' as in 'seven.' 'O' with the 'thread' radical on the left and 'person' ('mono' or 'sha' as in 'isha') on the right." (_A/N: None of this will make any sense unless you know how to write kanji and understand a bit of Japanese. But don't worry too much about it.)_

"Kyouraku-taichou, you may proceed with your first witness."

"Nanao-chan," Shunsui said, leaning lazily on the witness stand. "How many years have you served under me?"

"34."

"And you don't look a day over—"

"Watch it," she said smacking him upside the head with her fan, which had mysteriously materialized out of nowhere.

"How well would you say you know me, having served 34 wonderful years under me?" he said rubbing the reddening pulsing area.

"Better than you know yourself."

"Could you elaborate on that?"

"I think it would be fair to say that only two other people know you better than I do."

"And who would that be?"

"Yamamoto-soutaichou and Ukitake-taichou."

"Considering that Yama-jii is in a meeting and Ukitake was recently hospitalized, I think that Nanao-chan would provide a decent testimony. Nanao-chan, can you tell the members of the jury about my beverage preferences?"

"Certainly. Kyouraku-taichou consumes two beverages and two beverages only. The first is sake, Nihon-shu, shouchuu—transparent, strong Japanese alcohol made of rice and only of the highest quality. Should you need proof, I have purchase orders for the sake he drinks for the past 20 years. File 2836-A," Nanao said to the waiting shinigami.

"Right away, Ise-fukutaichou," the frail looking shinigami said, scrambling to open the second drawer. The shinigami resembled Ururu in that she was tiny, but she managed to get the job done rather efficiently. She pulled out a considerably sized bound report and handed it to Nanao bowing deeply once. "File 2836-A."

"Thank you," Nanao said, placing the folder on the table next to her witness stand.

"What is the other one, Nanao-chan?"

"The other is water, one because it's the same 'color' as sake, it's free, and it prevents him from dehydrating from the excessive vomiting associated with the over-consumption of alcoholic beverages."

"Do I consume any other variety of alcohol—particularly colored liquors or spirits?"

"Not to my knowledge and extensive research."

"Research? What research?"

"Yes, as head of the Shinigami Women's Association, I must present a report containing research I have done for a thesis of my choice. My research concerns Kyouraku-taichou in that, he has deemed him to be a medical miracle."

"Medical miracle?"

"Yes, for someone who consumes that level of sake at that frequency, eats nothing that would provide the body with any nourishment whatsoever, sleeps most of the day away like a sloth or koala, most of the major organs in your body should have failed, even as a shinigami at taichou level. Yet he suffers little to no damage. I have conducted years of complex experiments and research on Kyouraku-taichou's alcohol consumption habits."

"What brought about this research?" Shunsui said, curious to know more for himself rather than clearing his name.

"I originally thought that Kyouraku-taichou should quit drinking, since it affected his efficiency not to mention his health, but he refused to accept that too much alcohol might eventually kill him. So, I decided to observe his drinking habits in order to prove to him that alcohol has long term effects that can make life miserable in a person's later years. I am still researching; however, this log that I have in my hand is proof that Kyouraku-taichou has not drunk and will not drink any alcohol aside from his high quality sake."

"So the sweet, caramel colored alcohol…?"

"Probably some form of rum and also _not _a possibility. Kyouraku-taichou even considering purchasing anything but sake would go against over 15 years of extensive research. It is highly likely that the liquor that is consumed was rum. Rum is an import in the Seireitei, typically imported from shinigami of questionable character such as Urahara Kisuke."

_Somewhere in Karakura Town…._

"_Ah-ah-ah-CHOO!" Urahara sneezed rather loudly as he was counting the daily cash for the day._

"_Tenchou," Tessai said turning to Urahara. "Did you catch a cold?"_

"_Some beauty somewhere must be talking about the sexiness known as the Urahara Kisuke," he mused._

"_I have some medicine that not only cures colds, but does wonders for impotence as well as prevents breast cancer."_

"_How does…never mind. Wait, do I look like I'm someone who would need something that prevented breast cancer?" Urahara asked appalled at the mere suggestion. "Besides are you insinuating something, Tessai?"_

"_Not at all, tenchou!" Tessai said, standing up from the chair he had been sitting on. "Let me go get—"_

"_WAIT! Um. I have to go find Yoruichi," Urahara said nervously. "I must get Yoruichi's milk ready. Yes, that's it. Tessai, would you mind doing inventory?"_

"_But, tenchou! Your health is far more important than the inventory—"_

"_Customer first!" Urahara said holding up one finger and adjusting his hat with the other. "We don't want to be selling too much damaged or expired—I mean, 'freshly outdated' merchandise. Besides we can't sell what we don't have. We need to order—first thing tomorrow morning! Yes, that's it… Therefore, we need to do inventory TODAY. Thanks for volunteering!" Urahara said cheerfully as he walked out casually. He looked quite cool walking out but really he was congratulating himself on being skilled enough to save his life._

Back at the courtroom…

"Rum is the cheapest—do not ask me why, imported liquor here in the Seireitei. Yes, there are thousands of varieties of liquor, however only a handful of these are actually readily available here in the Seireitei. There _is_ also one other problem. Kyouraku-taichou is highly allergic to rum."

"I am?"

"If I remember correctly," Nanao said ignoring Shunsui once again. "The first witness stated that Kyouraku-taichou had a few rounds with him of this mysterious sweet brown alcohol. This would be a near impossibility since Kyouraku-taichou would have been carried off to 4-bantai headquarters within the first _sip_ of rum."

"Really?"

"File 8025-G."

"Right away, ma'am!"

"This is the paperwork for the last time he was hospitalized," Nanao said as she placed the folder she received onto the other one.

"That was rum, Nanao-chan?"

"Yes," she sighed. "The day that you thought you were going 'die by the evil clutches of foreign alcohol' was the day you and Ukitake-taichou decided to abuse your power as taichou and buy a whole bunch of imported alcohol from your accomplice, Urahara Kisuke. The first item you bought was a bottle of rum because the label had a pink flower on it, don't you remember!"

"O--------h. That was rum? Ouch…." Shunsui had merely been thinking aloud, when Nanao, fed up with the silliness snatched the file she had just put down and chucked it at Shunsui, hitting him right on the side of head that was closest to her with one of the corners of the file.

"Objection, Your Honor, the witness is badgering the attorney," Shunsui cried rubbing his head.

"Overruled."

"What!"

"Do you have any further questions, Kyouraku-taichou?" Hitsugaya sighed loudly.

"Oh yes. Okay, Nanao-chan. So let me clarify. There's no way it could have been me at that—"

"I didn't say that. I simply stated that it would be difficult for you to rape someone under the influence of rum considering that you nearly _died_ from it last time."

"Very good, on to my next point," Shunsui said turning around to face the jury, his haori flapping around him. "Nanao-chan, would you mind telling the court my procedure for wooing ladies—"

"Objection, Your Honor!" shouted Aizawa. "This is irrelevant to the case—"

"I'm gonna make a point," Shunsui said motioning for the uptight lawyer to sit down. "Just cool your jets. Here, have some sake—"

"No alcohol in my courtroom. Overruled for now, Kyouraku-taichou, please make your point."

"Nanao-chan?"

Nanao sighed and rolled her eyes. "As embarrassing as this is, I am currently under oath, so I shall comply for now. Kyouraku-taichou's shameless behavior always begins with him having a few bottles of sake. Then he goes over to the shy, quiet girl sitting alone in the corner. He takes off his ridiculous hat, bows majestically, and asks her if she would mind if he bought her a drink. And then he talks…and talks…and talks. Then after several hours, he leans in and brushes her hair behind her ear and whispers how pretty she is and—STOP TAKING NOTES, MEMBERS OF THE JURY!"

"What's the big deal," Renji said loudly. "We're bored, and you're giving us tips on how to pick up—"

"Members of the jury, please put down your writing utensils," Hitsugaya warned dangerously. Byakuya sniffed indignantly, clearly miffed at being lumped with the note-taking retards like Renji and Ikkaku, but again said nothing. "Please continue, Ise-fukutaichou."

"After telling her sweet nothings, he stands up, picks up his hat and leaves. That's it. If she chooses to chase after him, it's of her own free volition. Kyouraku-taichou does not want to force anything on anyone. His and Ukitake-taichou's style is more along the lines of mysterious and chivalrous," she finished, blushing and rolling her eyes at the embarrassment of having to make such a statement.

"Here are the complaints he has received in the past. And the other is contains recordings of his conversations when he goes to pick up girls—"

"Girls, that reminds me, Nanao-chan. Would you mind speaking on my sexual preferences since you have clearly been researching my—"

"Do I have—"

"Of course, it's relevant to the case, Nanao-chan!"

Nanao sighed. "Kyouraku-taichou, for the reference of this case, does not chase after men—at least men that look like the victims in this case."

"Could you elaborate on that?"

"Kyouraku-taichou likes small, gentle, lady-like girls. If he does make a pass at a male, it's usually because the male is small, thin and has feminine features or is pretty. Nakata-san is too bulky and muscular. His features are far too angular to be mistaken for a girl, so it is _highly_ unlikely that Kyouraku-taichou would have made that mistake. Also, Sakaki-san is too tall and lanky. He's without a doubt male, and hardly the kind of person that Kyouraku-taichou might go for. Both are likely to fight back if attacked, which is exactly what he _doesn't_ want. Kyourako-taichou doesn't like to fight for his prey—he's far too lazy."

"Right on the money. That's my cute little Nanao-ch—OUCH!" Shunsui was beginning to think that if the alcohol didn't kill him, he would die of hemorrhaging to the brain from all the items that have been chucked, slammed, and slapped his cranium.

"Don't call me that!" Nanao said throwing her fan at him. "I belong to no one, Kyouraku-taichou."

"Nanao-chan, what do you think about the fact that he accused me of drugging him."

"That is _quite _a compliment, taichou."

"Isn't it? Wait! You aren't serious. Don't you mean 'accusation'?"

"No, I would have to say that is a huge compliment."

"C-C-Compliment!" he sputtered, nearly losing his balance. "Nanao-chan, but he—"

"Drugging someone takes a great deal of research and careful planning. Two things that are not usually associated with someone like Kyouraku-taichou."

"Oi!"

"The thing is, Kyouraku-taichou couldn't distinguish between an aspirin and a modsoul," she sighed, massaging one temple with her index and middle finger. "Researching what kinds of drugs would make a person easy to take advantage of without knocking them out completely or killing them, requires a tremendous amount of work, work that Kyouraku-taichou is not willing to do _because _he's so lazy. Plus access to that kind of information is also a problem. His taichou status _would_ in theory allow him the access to that kind of information; however, due to the reference room being renovated, the files have been under the care of Kurotsuchi-taichou and will remain under his care until the end of the year. That kind of information would indeed be quite hard to acquire considering that Kyouraku-taichou recently had a run-in with Kurotsuchi-taichou."

"It wasn't my fault that he lost part of his lab in that explosion," Shunsui said chewing idly on a blade of grass that had somehow materialized in his mouth.

"You were the one that left one of his burners one when you tried to heat your sake in one of his beakers!" she said reaching forward to grab the blade from his mouth, throwing it to the side violently. "In any case," Nanao said, regaining her composure. "The prosecution had portrayed Kyouraku-taichou as someone highly knowledgeable, hard-working, and calculating—which conflicts with my records, files 8375-J and K."

"Right away, Ise-fukutaichou!"

"Thank you."

"What are those?" Shunsui asked curiously.

"_Those_ are all the 'late slips' for things that were past due."

"That first folder must weigh about 15 pounds, Nanao-chan!" Shunsui eyed the binder that had been placed in front of his serious fukutaichou. "What's that, like the last 5 years?"

"No, the last 4 months." Shunsui paled.

"Wait, how come you never said anything? Does this mean its all ri—"

"Don't push it," Nanao warned. "No matter how much I nag you, it's not like anything's going to change anyway."

"True enough…"

"Kyouraku-taichou is extremely lazy. On the birthday cards he sends, he simply uses his stamp, 'From 8-bantai Taichou, Kyouraku Shunsui.' He once advertised for a professional forger—someone to forge his handwriting and to fill out his reports so that he didn't have to do them himself. Here's the stamp and here's a copy of the ad."

"You mean you knew about the advertisement," Shusui said, leaning in towards Nanao.

"Of course, you brilliantly put _my_ address as the contact address!"

"Oh yeah, that's right…"

"Anyway, drugging someone takes a great deal of research not to mention planning. That in itself is just giving Kyouraku-taichou far too much credit."

"That's right, you should give credit where credit is due—Wait, do you hear something?" Shunsui said slowly looking around the courtroom.

A faint rumbling sound could be heard.

"What the hell is that?" Hitsugaya wondered aloud to no one in particular.

Hitsugaya looked to his left and then to his right. Nothing. Then all of a sudden, the rumbling started to get louder and the courtroom began shaking. Before he could order that no one move from the courtroom, one of the walls started to display a crack. Then before he knew it, there was a crack, crack, KABOOM!

Debris sprayed everywhere and the air was clouded with dust. Everyone had taken cover and was under a chair or table.

"Who the hell was that!" Hitsugaya demanded. There was no response. Hitsugaya reached for Hyourinmaru. "Who's there!"

"Where is he?" shouted a vaguely familiar voice. The silhouette of a large figure charged into the middle of the courtroom shouting, "WHERE IS HE! KUROSAKI ICHIGO!"

"What the hell? Kurosaki Ichigo?" Hitsugaya murmured. "Zaraki-taichou?"

The air sort of cleared with Zaraki Kenpachi standing in his full glory, bells, eye patch, tattered haori and all.

"Don't make me repeat myself? Where the hell is Kurosaki Ichigo!" the blood-thirsty 11-bantai taichou demanded, pulling up a sniveling Aizawa from under the closest table.

"I-I…Z-Z-Za-Zaraki-taichou!" he said nearly fainting on the spot.

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru called cheerfully, pulling herself up onto Kenpachi's shoulder.

"Oi, Yachiru!" he growled as the dust finally cleared and he was able to see that he was in the middle of a newly destroyed courtroom with a shocked wide-eyed Hitsugaya standing on the podium.

"Silly Ken-chan, Mr. Spikey-Head isn't here!"

"What! You told me he was here!"

"Well, you wouldn't have come if I told you they wanted you for the bailiff."

"Bailiff! What the fuck is that?" he said grumpily, his bells slightly drooping in disappointment.

"You just keep the peace, Zaraki-taichou," said a singsong voice from behind Kenpachi.

"Matsumoto! Just where the hell have you been!" shouted Hitsugaya angrily.

"Keep the peace?" said Kenpachi turning around to face Matsumoto. "Does that mean I get to kill people?"

"Well, no, but if they get too loud or obnoxious, you can slam the hilt of your zanpakutou as hard as you want into any part of their body!"

"Well, that's not as great as fighting Kurosaki Ichigo or killing, but I guess since I'm here already..."

"Yay, Ken-chan gets to be like the sunglasses-oniichan!"

"What! Yachiru, goddammit! Don't lump me with that goody-two-shoes Tousen!"

"Matsumoto, what the hell took you so long!" Hitsugaya shouted over Yachiru and Kenpachi's arguing.

"Well, I was looking for someone who might make a good bailiff, but everyone was busy—"

"Conveniently…okay…" Hitsugaya said clearly not convinced.

"And well, I was on my way back to the courtroom, when I ran into Yachiru-chan and Zaraki-taichou. They were conveniently on their way to the courtroom too. Yachiru said she knew a shortcut and well, before we knew it, we were lost, so yeah—"

"Spare me the rest of the details," Hitsugaya groaned. "All right, everyone. Let's take a brief recess and reconvene in one hour while we get this mess sorted out."

Hitsugaya pounded his gavel, well what was left of it and jumped down to the middle of the courtroom, sighing as he surveyed the damage and pissed as hell that his fukutaichou of questionable competency didn't even have the decency to bring him a single cup of tea.

_Author's Note: Sorry for the delayed update. I've been busy with work recently and this chapter has killed my brain. Goody. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter. _

_Cue ending theme…_

_Matsumoto: Oopsie, we really screwed up big time. Zaraki-taichou put that teensy little hole in the courtroom, so my little taichou is pretty upset._

_Hitsugaya: MATSUMOTO! _

_Matsumoto: Well, it technically wasn't my fault this time._

_Hitsugaya: What the hell were you thinking, bringing Zaraki-taichou into the courtroom!_

_Matsumoto: I didn't Yachiru-chan did!_

_Hitsugaya: And that hole wasn't teensy. It was HUGE!_

_Yachiru: Hey, at least I found big boobie-oneechan and the…the…what was it called again?_

_Ikkaku: Bailiff, you retarded cotton candy head!_

_Yachiru: You shut up, stupid bowling ball head!_

_Kenpachi: Does this mean no Kurosaki Ichigo?_

_All: YES!_

_Byakuya: Why do I have to be here? Can we reach a verdict soon? I am a very busy person—_

_Renji: Yeah, yeah, next chapter. Just enjoy the ride. Next time, the courtroom finale! Stay tuned, everyone._


	6. Ch 6: The Verdict

I feel extremely bad about the situation concerning my computer, and while I still don't have the stupid contraption back from the factory, I will attempt to update on this retarded Japanese computer where all the punctuation symbols are on different keys.

Disclaimer: KTNM.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding. I have an update for you all. I really appreciate all your reviews and messages. Here's a long awaited update. It's 3:30 am. I'm tired. Enjoy.

* * *

**The Babysitters Club**

**Chapter 6: The Verdict**

As the court prepared to reconvene with some of the lower level shinigami who were guarding the courtroom quietly cleaning up some of the rubble, Hitsugaya ascended to what was left of his podium and everyone else began to return to what was left of their seats.

"All right," started Hitsugaya. "Do we have everyone? Members of the jury? Prosecution? Defense? Bailiff—"

"What is this fuckin' trial about anyway?!" mumbled Kenpachi, ignoring Hitsugaya taking inventory of the courtroom, as he leaned lazily against the juror's box.

"Well, Kyouraku-taichou is being tried for 3 counts of rape," pointed out Ikkaku.

"What?!" Kenpachi said quizzically. "What do you mean, '3 counts of rape'?!"

"We've only been half listening, but apparently Kyouraku-taichou's being accused of taking advantage of lower ranking members of the Gotei 13," added Renji.

"Kyouraku? The fuckin' pansy? Are they fuckin' nuts or something'?! That guy couldn't rape someone—I mean who are they fuckin' kidding?! Where are the victims?"

"Over there," gestured Ikkaku with his zanpakutou to Nakata and Sakaki. "And two guys no less."

"Hey, those two look familiar," mumbled Kenpachi to himself, clearly trying hard to place the name with the face. "Wait, I thought you said there were 3 of them?"

"Yeah, well one of them was from 4-bantai and got himself killed in the line of duty. He was apparently attacked or something by a hollow. The other two—"

"Ken-chan," said Yachiru cheerfully.

"You always frickin' interrupt me!" shouted Ikkaku, pointing his zanpakutou at the tiny fukutaichou rather menacingly.

"Shut up, baldie," she retorted, sticking her tongue out at him. "Anyway, Ken-chan—"

"He's in our division!" exclaimed Kenpachi proudly, pointing at Nakata, and thus correctly identifying the muscleman.

"How did you know?!" said Ikkaku incredulously. "Taichou, no offense, but you _never_ remember _anyone_ below the 10th seat of our bantai."

"Huh? There was something weird about him when he entered our bantai," mumbled Kenpachi rather thoughtfully. "Though, I'm no so good with feeling out reiatsu and special abilities and whatnot…"

"_Must be animal instinct_," thought Byakuya miserably, feeling rather drained at the idiotic chatter that surrounded him, as he massaged one temple tenderly with his index finger.

"Ken-chan, Ken-chan," said Yachiru. "Did you know he's the one who wanted to stop his rapist by using his kidou—"

"WHAT?!" roared Kenpachi, springing into action and running over to the prosecution. "Hey you," he said to Nakata, picking him up by his uniform and glaring at him menacingly.

"Y-Y-Yes, Z-Z-Zaraki-t-t-taichou?" he said, trying hard to pretend that he was not afraid of the huge heavily scarred taichou with the eye-patch.

"Are you a kidou specialist?" roared Kenpachi, eyes flashing quite wildly.

"Yeah, why?"

The whole courtroom suddenly went silent. No one moved a muscle as Kenpachi turned away and suddenly without warning threw Nakata clear across the courtroom floor, causing him to make a new hole in Hitsugaya's podium, much to the white-haired shinigami's dismay.

"Excuse me, that is my—" started Aizawa.

"Shut up!" shouted Kenpachi, cutting off the prosecuting attorney, stomping towards the surprised lower shinigami. "Nakata, right, you said your name was?"

Nakata nodded fearfully.

"What?! I can't hear you! Speak up!"

"Yes—"

"Yes, what?"

"'Yes, Zaraki-taichou,' you fuckin' idiot," said Ikkaku, jumping down from the jurors' box and standing next to Kenpachi. "You're a disgrace to this bantai."

"What?" said Nakata picking himself up.

"Ikkaku!"

"Yes, taichou!"

"What is the motto of 11-bantai?"

"To lose is to die!"

"That's right. And do you know how we in 11-bantai settle our fights? With our fuckin' zanpakutou! None of this fuckin' kidou shit! If you've got a fuckin' problem, you take out your zanpakutou and settle it man-to-man. Settling your fights using kidou is for fuckin' wimps. Where's the fun when there are no battle scars left from the fight?! Unless you're a kidou master that can make blood gush out like pretty boy over here," Kenpachi said, motioning at Byakuya, who sniffed in indignation at being referred to in that manner. "Which I don't think you can—"

"Ken-chan, Ken-chan! Can you imagine; he wanted to use kidou against Kyouraku-taichou!" squealed Yachiru, enjoying getting Kenpachi all riled up.

"Hah! Are you fuckin' crazy?! You're a fuckin' fool if you want to challenge a taichou like Kyouraku with kidou. When did this guy enter our bantai?"

"A few months ago, s-s-sir," murmured Nakata.

"A few months and no one fuckin' caught that he was a kidou user?! Ikkaku!"

"My humblest apologies, taichou. Yumichika and I should have checked into it more carefully," bowed Ikkaku.

"_And_ you were trying to press charges against Kyouraku for rape?!" shouted Kenpachi, diverting his attention back to Nakata. "Let me tell you something. No one from my bantai EVER gets raped. Especially not by a pink haori wearing pansy like Kyouraku! I don't owe him no loyalty, but just the thought—Don't you ever fuckin' embarrass me, this bantai, or your fellow members ever again! Do you understand?! The honor of 11-bantai ALWAYS comes first."

"Yes, sir," Nakata said quietly.

"Good, now let's go!"

"What? This is my courtroom—" started Hitsugaya.

"Yeah, yeah, it'll probably be more productive without my bantai involved," retorted Kenpachi, picking up Nakata by the collar. "Yachiru! Ikkaku! Where the hell is Yumichika?!"

"Who knows?" said Ikkaku, picking up his zanpakutou and following his taichou towards the massive hole in the wall.

"What about the victim?" asked Hitsugaya, as Kenpachi and his bantai were nearing the first hole they made in the wall.

Kenpachi looked at everyone in the courtroom in his trademark intimidating manner, pulled out his zanpakutou and slammed the hilt against the wall to produce another hole in the already collapsing courthouse. He then stared at Nakata.

"I hereby drop all charges!" squeaked Nakata.

"Excuse us!" Kenpachi said, walking through the new hole in the wall, taking his bantai with him.

"Great," sighed Hitsugaya. "Yamamoto is going to kill me for allowing Matsumoto to bring in the wrecking ball that destroyed the courtroom," he groaned to himself.

"I'm sorry!" screeched Sakaki. "I was being forced by—"

"Nemu!" cried a shrill familiar voice, interrupting the confession.

"Yes, Mayuri-sama," she replied emotionlessly, as she stood up to face the back of the courtroom. The 12-bantai taichou un-melted his camouflaged self from the back wall and walked towards the front of the courtroom.

"Come down here now!" The scary researcher grabbed Sakaki by one arm and nodded to Nemu to take the other.

"Don't tell me—" started Renji.

"That he's still—" continued Hinamori.

"Mad about—" filled Kira.

"The burners?!" said Soi Fon incredulously.

Sakaki was dragged out of the courtroom through the back doors kicking and screaming, "No…No…Somebody, help me! I'm sorry, taichou!..."

Hitsugaya sighed once more as everyone looked on. Clearing his throat, "Given the rather unusual circumstances of today's trial, mainly focusing on the fact that the one of the victims was unable to testify, another has dropped all charges, and the last one was dragged by force out of this courtroom, and not to mention that half the jury left—"

"Don't forget the fact that the courthouse is in shambles!" added Matsumoto cheerfully.

"Thank you, Matsumoto," Hitsugaya mumbled sarcastically.

"I am clearing Kyouraku-taichou of all charges—"

"Woo-hoo!" exclaimed Shunsui.

"However! However, Kyouraku-taichou must comply with the following terms and conditions to be acquitted of all charges."

"Sure anything you say!" he said happily, bringing out a bottle of sake.

"No alcohol in my courtroom until this court is dismissed." Shunsui sighed and tucked the bottle away. "Kyouraku-taichou, in exchange for being acquitted of all charges, must be under the supervision of Ise-fukutaichou. He is to live in the spare room in Ise-fukutaichou's apartment—"

"What?!" cried Nanao incredulously. "B-B-But—"

"And perform no less than 15 hours of community service per week under the instruction of Ise-fukutaichou—"

"What?!" cried Shunsui. "You mean I gotta do what she says even after work hours?!"

"For the grief you perpetually cause her. _And_, is prohibited from staying out past 11:00 pm for the next three months. If he violates these terms in any shape or form, his sentence will be prolonged 10 days for each violation. This court is now adjourned." Hitsugaya banged what was left of his gavel loudly and slumped into his chair.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_Matsumoto: Whew, thank god that is all over._

_Nanao: What do you mean "all over"?! I'm stuck living with THAT for the next three months, no thanks to your taichou!!!_

_Shunsui: Nanao-chan!_

_Byakuya: This seriously was just a waste of my time…_

_Hitsugaya: I am never volunteering for this ever again…_

_Matsumoto: I thought it was pretty fun…_

_Hitsugaya: That's because most of what went wrong in there was YOUR fault—_

_Matsumoto: Ooh, don't blame me…Yachiru-chan was just as bad. Anyway, next time, the after party and celebration. Guess who's got a new excuse to go out and party?_

_Hitsugaya: Matsumoto!!_

_Matsumoto: Ooh, here's my taichou being a poopie head again. Anyway, Chapter 7, The Epilogue. Don't miss it!! _


	7. Ch 7: Epilogue

Disclaimer: KTNM

Author's Note: Thank you for your reviews and patience. Here is the finale to _The Babysitters Club._ Enjoy.

**The Babysitters Club**

**Chapter 7: Epilogue**

It had been a long day and Nanao wanted nothing more than to have a nice quiet dinner, get a little bit of paperwork done, and sleep. She returned home to her tidy quiet apartment, threw the paperwork she brought home with her worktable, set the bento box she bought on her way home on the dining table and plopped down on the chair rather unceremoniously in exhaustion. Lifting her glasses, she rubbed one eye slightly.

"I guess I better eat something before I pass out," she sighed to herself, lifting the cover off the plastic tray. She pulled the wooden chopstick out of its paper wrapper and was about to split her chopsticks when the doorbell rang, thus causing her to break her concentration, and resulting in unevenly split chopsticks. Frowning in annoyance at the lack of symmetry, she set the imperfect wooden utensils on the wrapper and stood up to answer the door.

"Who is it?" she called.

Getting no answer, she stood up and walked to the door. Lifting a small black piece of wood on the door; she peered through the peephole, only to discover much to her surprise, that there was no one at the door.

"_Was I dreaming?_" she thought. "_Must have been my imagination_."

Nanao shrugged and returned to her dinner. She started eating the stir-fried vegetables, but curiosity got the better of her and she ended up walking back to the door. Luckily, or unluckily, just as she was about to open the door, the doorbell rang once again. This time, she opened it right away, and saw a flash of black run away. Reacting more out of instinct, rather than pure malice, she quickly focused her reiatsu.

"Bakudou no ichi, SAI (Binding Art #1, Obstruction)!" she shouted, chasing after it into the street. Whoever or whatever it was managed to break free and was thus rewarded with the start of an angry, "Bakudou no roku-juu-ichi (Binding Art #61-_for those of you who don't know what this is, this is what Byakuya used on Renji when Renji finally mastered his bankai for the first time when they were saving Rukia. Google it if you still don't know._)—"

"Nanao-chan!" shouted a panicked voice. "STOP!"

"Taichou?!" Nanao cried, mid-incantation.

"Jesus! Call it off!" shouted Shunsui, from above, perched on the top of the roof, waving his arms madly at her.

"What? Why?!" she cried angrily, dispelling it.

"Geez, I never expected you to go so far as to use bakudou no roku-juu-ichi—"

"What did you expect?!" she demanded, cutting it off. "There was something ringing my doorbell. And it ran, so I assumed—"

"Nanao-chan," her taichou sighed. "What am I going to do with you…"

"That's my line. What is the meaning of this?"

"Well," Shunsui started. "You see—"

"Kyouraku-taichou, did she actually get him?" called an excited singsong voice also from above.

"Matsumoto-fukutaichou, what is the meaning of this?" demanded Nanao, recognizing the all too familiar voice.

The pink haori-wearing taichou and his accomplice jumped down to the ground to where Nanao was.

"She totally tried to get him didn't she?" Matsumoto said, adjusting her bust and flipping her hair over her shoulder.

Shunsui sighed, took off his straw hat, pulled out five bills and reluctantly handed them over to Matsumoto.

"Matsumoto!" shouted a voice. "I'll be taking two of those!"

"Ikkaku! No fair," exclaimed Matsumoto.

"NO FAIR?! Matsumoto, you wanna talk about no fair?" shouted Ikkaku. "You almost got me killed!"

"But you said you'd do it!" protested Matsumoto, trying to grab the money back from her bald friend.

"Only because, _YOU _and her frickin' taichou said she wasn't gonna do nothing!" Ikkaku said, pointing a finger accusingly at Shunsui.

"I said she _probably _wouldn't try anything," said Shunsui defensively.

"You said it was _safe_!"

"Hey, give me back my money—"

"Butt out, Matsumoto!" shouted Ikkaku. "You," he yelled, clearly talking to the hay chewing taichou. "Your fukutaichou almost ran a bakudou, and roku-juu-ichi (61), nonetheless, through me!"

"I didn't think she would—"

"Ahem," said Nanao, trying to get a word in.

"Hey! Give that back, Matsumoto!"

"No, I won the money fair and square—"

"No frickin' way!"

"Excuse me—" started Nanao.

"Well, you could always give it back to me—" suggested Shunsui.

"NO!" the other two shouted.

"Well, if you can't decide, I was merely suggesting—"

"No, you lost fair and square, Kyouraku-taichou—"

"Matsumoto, give me that—"

"HEY!" shouted Nanao, using her shunpo, snatching the money and the blade of grass hanging out of her taichou's mouth, resulting in a temporary time out on the war. "Will someone please explain what's going on?!"

When no one offered an explanation, Nanao, glared dangerously at Shunsui.

"Well, you see, Nanao-chan," began Shunsui nervously. "Matsumoto dared Ikkaku to go and ring your doorbell, as a joke. And well, I bet that you would just ignore the prank. Matsumoto bet that you would try to attack Ikkaku. And um, we didn't expect you to actually come out and chase after him, much less try to attack him with a bakudou."

"Especially not with roku-juu-ichi," Matsumoto pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," Shunsui said looking away. "We thought you would give up after bakudou no ichi."

"Geez, does your fukutaichou always attack with roku-juu-ichi instinctively?" asked Ikkaku, with one eye opened as he scratched the nape of his neck.

"Well, no. Usually she just ignores this kind of thing. This is actually the first time—"

"I'm tired," said Nanao, turning around. "I don't have the patience for this kind of nonsense now. I'm going home.

"Hey, what about the money?" asked Matsumoto.

"And my grass?" chimed in Shunsui.

"Well, you didn't get your money's worth. I didn't actually hit Madarame-san. So since you both were technically wrong, _AND_ since you bet on me like some horse or stupid sports team, I'll be taking this."

"Nanao-chan, what about my blade of grass?"

"It's made you look sloppy and unkempt, so I threw it on the ground," Nanao said, before using her shunpo to return to her apartment.

"And it was a good blade too. Not poisonous…" sighed Shunsui.

"And I thought I finally was going to get something for taking the high risk bet," sighed Matsumoto.

"Does any one care that she almost ran six pillars of reiatsu with the capability to crush bones through me?" asked Ikkaku.

"Nope…"

"Not really…"

"Wanna go drinking?"

"The usual?"

"Ikkaku, let's go. It's Kyouraku-taichou's treat!"

"What?! I never said that!"

"But we're celebrating you being acquitted of all charges!"

"Oh, yeah, that's right! LET'S GO THEN!" shouted Shunsui. "I'll go get Ukitake!"

"Yay! Last one there's a rotten egg!"

"God, wherever did you learn that, Matsumoto?!"

"From Orihime-chan, why?"

"No wonder. Never mind."

_Meanwhile_…

Nanao had given up on eating. Her food was dry and cold, no thanks to those doorbell-ringing pranksters. She decided to take a bath and attempt to get some paperwork that was neglected due to their court appearance.

"So much drama in this bantai," she sighed, as she made her way to the bathroom, setting her glasses and her hair pin on the table on her way there.

"First, he gets himself charged with rape," she mumbled to herself, forcing the faucet to splash hot water into the shower.

"Then we have to appear in court practically the next day—" Nanao said, slamming her uniform into the basket next to the door.

"Hitsugaya-taichou is the judge, the jury is made up of fukutaichou, one of the witnesses dies, Zaraki-taichou destroys the courtroom and takes one of the victims with him, Kurotsuchi-taichou is still upset about the lab accident, in the end, that stupid taichou gets acquitted of all charges. The absurdity of it all! And of all the dumb luck—" she cried, stepping into the steaming shower, gagging slightly as she swallowed some water mid-rant.

"Why?! Why me?!" she groaned miserably, beginning the meticulous ritual of washing her hair and lathering every inch of her body in vanilla scented soap. "Fate must really hate me..."

Then Hitsugaya's fateful words came back to her.

"_Kyouraku-taichou, in exchange for being acquitted of all charges, must be under the supervision of Ise-fukutaichou...in the spare room in Ise-fukutaichou's apartment..._"

Nanao shuddered and placed one palm to support herself against the shower wall as she watched the soap suds spiral down the drain.

"Why do I continue to torture myself?" she wondered, turning the water off and squeezing out some of the excess water from her hair. "I _must _be crazy..."

Nanao picked up her towel, and dried herself off and went in search of her pajamas. While she actually was not planning on going to sleep, she thought she should at least get some paperwork done before turning in for the night.

The serious fukutaichou put her glasses back on, everything came back into focus, and made her way to her worktable. She pulled out one of the cushions under the table and sat down quietly. In front of her lay an enormous stack of paperwork and reports. Sighing, she began sorting the mountain into piles to make them easier to work with.

She must have been more tired than she thought because that was the last thing she remembered doing. When she came to, she found herself sprawled on the floor, a few reports in her left hand and half under the table.

"_When did I fall asleep? What time is it?_" she thought, looking for her clock. "_11:15?_ _Already? God, and I have a meeting first thing tomorrow too..._"

She scooted out from under the table and sat up. Her body cracked angrily at having been left in such an odd position for a prolonged period of time.

"Guess I'll be waking up early tomorrow to prep," she murmured, sighing in frustration of not being able to finish all she had hoped to. "I think his laziness is starting to rub off on me..."

Nanao then turned off the lamp on her worktable, pushed it flush against the wall and began laying out her bedding. When she had smoothed out the covers so that not a single wrinkle remained, she went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Nanao tucked herself into bed, picking up a book she read every night in order to wind down.

"Let's see what '1000 Interesting Things about Humans and the Human World' has to say today," she mumbled to herself, turning to where she had marked it last.

"Alcoholic beverages have all 13 minerals necessary for human life," she read aloud. "Kyouraku-taichou would be pleased to know that. He'd probably argue that he must therefore be the healthiest one alive. Sheesh. These humans sure do research on the weirdest things..." she thought as she removed her glasses, folding them and putting them on top of the book next to her futon as she dozed off.

Nanao managed to get several hours of sleep before the sound of her door opening and the sound of not-so-quiet whispers echoing through her apartment woke her from her peaceful slumber.

"Shh. Okay, you've seen it. This is where I have to stay, now let's go!" Shunsui whispered to his companion. "Come on."

Nanao opened one eye groggily. "_That better not be who I think it is..._"

"What? You want to see the rest of the apartment? No, I don't think that would be a good idea. Listen, if Nanao-chan wakes up, she's gonna be really pissed. I'm telling you all hell's gonna break loose. What? No, she's not my wife. I am _not_ whipped. No, I just gotta stay here so that I'll be acquitted—No, she's not my girlfriend! She's my fukutaichou. C'mon don't be like that. Okay, okay, if you promise to be quiet, I'll show you. She's not my type. Okay? All right."

There was shuffling and bumping echoing down the hall. Nanao tried to ignore it, deciding that waking up was too much trouble.

"Okay, here's the bathroom. Yes. No, I don't peek while she's taking a shower. I just got here. Tonight's my first night. Besides, do you know what would happen if I got caught? You don't wanna know. Anyway, this is probably my room. And here's Nanao-chan's room. And this is angry Nanao-chan, angry Nanao-chan?!"

A drunken Shunsui had mistakenly opened the door to reveal an extremely pissed Nanao.

"TAICHOU!" she yelled, shoving him out into the living room, turning on the lights.

"Nanao-chan, what a surprise—"

"I LIVE HERE!"

"Uh, um—"

"Do you have any idea what time it is?! It's ONE in the morning. I have a meeting tomorrow and I have to wake up early to prep for it. You were supposed to be home by 11!"

"But, Nanao-chan! No, she's not my wife!" shouted Shunsui first to Nanao, then to Nanao's potted plant.

"Who are you talking to anyway?!" demanded Nanao.

"My imaginary friend."

"Imaginary friend?"

"Nanao-chan, this is Maririn!" Shunsui said proudly, swaying a bit as he gestured to no one in particular, but what looked from Nanao's perspective that he was talking to her house plant.

"Maririn?" Nanao said, with one eyebrow cocked, as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Yes, well, we met at the bar. And we have so much in common. And well, she just insisted on coming home with me—"

"Taichou, let me make one thing clear," she said in a dangerously low voice. "This is my apartment. You have to live here for the next three months. While you live here, you will abide by my rules. First, you will not bring back anyone back to this apartment without my permission, especially no one female by the name Maririn."

"She's over here," Shunsui said, pointing in the opposite direction that Nanao was facing.

"I don't care! Second, you will be back by 10—"

"What?! But the—"

"I know what the court says, but you also owe me community service. And if you want to be let in, you will come back before 10. I wake up early, so you will do your community service when you come home. Third and fourth, no alcohol or smoking in my apartment. You will not come back drunk or I will not let you in—"

"Come on, Nanao-chan—"

"No, unless you don't mind sleeping outside on the veranda—"

"But, it's gonna be winter—"

"I know. Take it or leave it."

"You know I have to abide by the courts," he whined.

"I know."

"What about Ukitake?"

"He can visit during the day. Now, Maririn, you need to leave," Nanao said walking over to the door, holding it open expectantly.

"Okay, you heard her," Shunsui said to what looked to be Nanao's chair.

"NOW!"

"Go, before she kills you!"

"Is she gone?"

"Yes," sighed Shunsui.

"Good, now go take a shower. You smell like cigarettes and alcohol—"

"But I don't have any soap or towels—"

"There are towels and soap in the bathroom."

"What about—"

"Your room is ready. I'm tired. I have a meeting first thing in the morning, so I need to sleep. Now, get in the shower!"

Shunsui nodded meekly fearful of his angry fukutaichou, shuffling to the bathroom and closing the door quietly.

"_This is going to be a long three months, isn't it?_" Nanao thought as she climbed back into her futon, rubbing her temples. "_Fate, why do you hate me so?"_

---End---

* * *

_Thank you for reading, please review and tell me what you thought of this story. This was a really fun story to write. This two are my favorite pair. They just make me laugh. I am planning a sequel and the follow-up alternate ending for this story. The sequel will most likely be called "Living with Nanao-chan" and will focus on the 3 month period of random chaos that will ensue as they live together. I'm still planning out the alternate ending. But, first, I must finish my other stories, especially my HitsuMatsu and Ouran one. As soon as I'm done with those, I will work on the sequels._

_As a side note, you can find information about my plans in terms of stories and plot on my profile page. I usually reflect and write supplementary comments on that page._

_O-tsukare-sama!_

_Mayonaka no Taiyou_


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